


The First Time

by LarsonColfer



Series: 5 times Logan and Julian “sleep” together and the one time they actually do. [1]
Category: CP Coulter's Dalton-Fandom, Dalton Academy Series
Genre: AU, Angst and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarsonColfer/pseuds/LarsonColfer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/n: Safe to say that the time-line of this story, at least this part takes place way early on in Dalton. In spite of the title of this story, its more about feelings than sex and I really hope I’ve captured that.</p>
    </blockquote>





	The First Time

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: Safe to say that the time-line of this story, at least this part takes place way early on in Dalton. In spite of the title of this story, its more about feelings than sex and I really hope I’ve captured that.

The first time it happened, it was because of loneliness. They were both searching for something; something which resembled love, hope, family, acceptance. Something they didn’t have. It was Julian who suggested it. He needed to feel that Logan cared for him. He needed to see it. Knowing that Logan cared and Derek telling him was not good enough.

“Its just sex“ Julian tells him. “- like friends with benefits.” Logan looks at him dumbstruck. He continues on, steeling himself, locking all emotions away. He cant enter this wearing his heart on his sleeve. He’s a ready been hurt too much.“-except we already are. Atleast I think we are” and therein lies the problem. He wants Logan in any capacity that he could get and he was not even sure that they were friends.

They had gravitated to each other because of their bond of disliking same things and he just need to know. “We are” Logan said softly from behind him and for the first time since the conversation started, Julian turned around to face the man he loved, who didn’t love him back. “There will be no weirdness or feelings. Just sex. And after that we return to be friends.”

Logan still looks at him, not moving from the spot on his bed, where he was reading. “I – You?” he tries though words fail him. “Why?” he finally asks and Julian moves up to him .”Please.” he begs already doing was he swore not to do. Act cool , aloof, don’t think of him that way. Dont think. Logan looks up at him. Studies him. Julian hopes his eyes don’t give it away.

“I thought-“ Logan tries “Me too.” Julian whispers. “But it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.-“ He chokes. Damn his emotions. ”Are you sure?” Logan asks softly.

He’s not though. It may be his idea and he wants this, aches for this. He’s full of hurt and want. He wants - no needs something to fill the void, the ache caused by Logan. If he cant be the person Logan is in love with, he sure can be the person who makes him feel, who through the entire act can show Logan that he is loved, he is wanted, he matters to someone. But it hurts because no matter how much he tries Logan is not in love with him. Logan doesnt love him but he does and he’s going to do this best make sure Logan feels that he’s loved.

Julian takes Logan’s hands in his and bends down to look him in the eyes.”Yes.” and Logan kisses him and Julian stops hurting. He pulls Julian down on him as their lips move together, hands moving between them to open buttons and pull down zippers.

He later finds himself sitting on Logan’s bed as he watches his best friend rummage the bedside drawer. Logan looks up to see Jules studying him, arms crossed around his knees, hugging them. He smiles softly and closes the drawer. He climbs the bed and move towards his friend, studying him, still unsure of whats happening. Julian looks at him with a hint of sadness and longing and something and Logan pauses and looks at his friend, silently asking and Julian nods.

He puts down the supplies on the bed and pulls Julian towards him. ”Relax” he whispers and runs his hands soothingly on Julian’s back. They sit like that for sometime both unsure and Logan asks again and this time Julian gets up from Logan’s embrace and moves in front of him. He reaches out a hand to splay it across Logan’s chest feeling his heart beat. He watches Logan watching him and with a slight nod he pulls Logan’s head down and kisses him, his tongue tracing Logan’s lower lip, asking permission and when Logan’s open his mouth he slips his tongue in. He allows Logan to settle him down fully on bed, Logan‘s lips on his, one hand in his hair as the other slowly maps the contours of his body.

When Logan’s hands reaches the deep V of his waist he pauses breaking the kiss and Logan shifts on top of him. “Jules?’ he whispers unsure, thumb soothingly rubbing the jutted hip bone. Julian takes a few deep breaths trying to calm himself not thinking of what is going to come but only concentrating on the feel on feel of Logan’s thumb. “Go slow.” he whispers and he opens his eyes to look at Logan.”I’ve never-“ Logan pulls him towards him and kisses him.

Kisses him as his hand strays down his body again. Kisses him as his hands ghost gently on his cock. Kisses him as he settles himself between Julian’s legs. Julian locks one leg on Logan’s waist as Logan’s hands slowly move to cup his butt, Logan fingers gently moving to his hole. His eyes open at the slight drag of Logan’s fingers on him. Logan kisses his lips and then lifts his hand and kisses it too.”I’m promise to go slow” he says “I’ll be gentle.” Julian looks at him and then shifts up to kiss him again and then Logan lets go to coat his fingers and himself.

He feels it when Logan touches where no one has ever touched him before. Its exactly what he needs as Logan pushes a finger inside him slowly. The ring of muscles stretching as it closes around the digit. The stretch and drag of the finger as it slowly moves in him. He watches Logan as he carefully adds another finger, his other gently rubbing Julian’s thigh. He watches the Logan’s green eyes as they carefully concentrate on the task and when Logan shifts his fingers again, he moans. Logan looks at him as he adds the third finger, green eyes meeting brown. Looking at him softly, gently, like a lover and that’s what he is for the time being.

Logan’s lover, nothing else. Not his boyfriend, not his soul-mate just his lover. Their eyes meet again as Logan shifts once more to arrange a pillow under him. Their eyes meet as Logan slowly pushes in past the first ring of muscles. Those green eyes pierce into his soul as Logan slowly pushes his way until he’s buried in Julian till the hilt.

He bends down to kiss him and Julian locks his leg completely around Logan, pushing him deep. Logan begins to move slowly, gently as he thrust himself in Julian and Julian allows, allows Logan to lay him bear, allows him to get closer past all his boundaries allows him to enter his heart and then he comes followed by Logan who doesn’t let him go but holds him through everything. Even when he slowly slips out of Julian he doesn’t allow him to move. He kisses him and asks him stay and he holds him close to him. Hands slowly moving on his back, soothing, comforting, loving him.

But Julian’s knows from the start that its not gonna be that, that it cant be because Logan doesnt love him even if he loves Logan. They will always be friends and as Logan arms tighten around him as he’s pulled back to rest gently against Logan’s chest, as he can hear Logan’s heart gently beat, Julian gives himself up to the moment and sleeps. Maybe after all that he’s gone through he deserves to be loved and for one night he can pretend that Logan is his.


End file.
